After the widespread success of Mothers Day in 1909, a young girl named Sonora Smart Dodd from Spokane, WA told her preacher that she wanted to create a similar holiday for her father William Jackson Smart. Her mother had passed shortly after the birth of her sixth child and left William to raise them alone. It must have been extremely tough for the Civil War verteran and the family, but he must have done the very best he could to have his daughter want to honor him and fathers everywhere with a special day just for them. Although the General Store should have sold him that extra bottle of, “Just For Men,” he sure looks like a proud parent and hard working man to me. He also looks like he shops at, By Robert James on Orchard St. 

WIlliam Smart

Father’s Day was first celebrated in Spokane later that year.  After over twenty years of low popularity, Sonora got in touch with the New York Associated Men’s Wear Retailers. Together they founded the ”Father’s Day Council” to nationally promote Father’s Day as a holiday in 1938. The intent for publicizing Fathers Day differed for each party. The plan was to boost mens gift sales around the holiday, but the main reason for Sonora was to honor Fathers for everything they have given their families. It wasn’t until 1972 that President Nixon finally made it a permanent national holiday. The struggle that it took for the public to recognize the importance of Father’s day equally parallels with the amount of hard work, time and sometimes un-noticed effort that our Father’s put in every single day to make sure we have the things we need to survive and grow. Love, food, clothes, water, shelter, a college education and a million other things that go into being a great Dad.

Ward Cleaver

We don’t always see what our Mom’s and Dad’s teach us as we grow up, but the older I get the more I realize how much I have learned from Dad. Through his words and actions throughout the course of my life, he has given good advice and guidance 98.9% of the time. Whether listening to him haggle with a used car salesman, teaching me how to be a gentleman (then asking me to pull his finger 10 minutes later) or delivering one of his many rules of life, he always did and continues to do the best he can to take care of his family first. The things he consciously and inadvertently taught me are things that I continue to use and strive for everyday of my life.  

Tony and Kim Newman

In honor of my Dad (and Dad’s everywhere) I wanted to list some words of wisdom and general great phrases, from the self-proclaimed, “O-Wise-One,” that my family and I have heard over and over throughout our lives.  Thanks to my wonderful sister Britt and Ma Dukes for reminding me of some of the best one liners. 

Dear ManLaw Readers,

Thank you so very much for coming back again and again to read my thoughts on women, style and the art of the distinguished gentleman. Your comments, re-tweets and outpouring of love for #ManLawMondays is truly amazing. I am thankful for YOU.

This time of year is always filled with traveling, friends, booze, parties and spending quality time with your family. Thanksgiving is more than just a family dinner. It’s about being thankful for the people around you that care and love you enough to have you around eating all their mashed potatoes, double dipping their 7 layer dip and housing all their beer and whiskey.  I wanted to write a little bit about what Thanksgiving means to me and what I am thankful for every single day of my life.

I am so thankful to have my Mom and Dad, they have always supported my decisions and have always pushed me to be who I wanted to be, no one will ever be there for you like your family. I am thankful for wonderful my sister, Britt and her beautiful two kids, Brownwyn and Theodore. (She also is hosting a Thanksgiving dinner at her house in Cleveland for some kids from Africa who are there working for Whole Foods and have no family here to spend it with. Best sister EVER.) I am thankful for my health. I am thankful for my grandfather, for putting on old jazz tunes when I was younger. I am thankful for the most wonderful and most beautiful girlfriend in the universe. Everyday is better, easier and more fun because of her. I can’t imagine how I even lived before she was around. I am thankful to be able to play my trumpet and sing everyday for a living, I am thankful for my friends who have been there for all the good and bad years.  I am thankful for, Tina, my Caddilac, for always getting me where I need to go on time and with style.  I am thankful for seltzer water. I am thankful for my fans who come to support me at my shows. I am thankful for bespoke suits. I am thankful for Budweiser and Jameson. I am thankful to have a roof over my head and food to eat whenever I want.  I am thankful for Italian dinners at John’s and Florio’s. I am thankful for Cuban heel boots. I am thankful for Dry Aged Beef. I am thankful to be surrounded by great musicians Scott Ritchie, Alex Smith, Paul Francis and Steve Kortyka. My brothers from different mothers. Last but certainly not least, I am thankful for love. 

There are so many things to be thankful for. Even if you think your life is rough and that things are not going so well for you. Open your eyes take a look around. You have to realize that its not that bad. Far more people have it worse than you and some don’t even have a turkey to cook today or a kitchen to cook anything in at all. I know that the holidays can be rough with all the family around, everyones nerves are always a bit on edge at my house but take some extra time to spend with your family today. Tell them you love them and thank them for all that they have done and continue to do for you.  Like the song says, “For all we know this may only be a dream, we come and go like the ripples in a stream. So Love me tonight, tomorrow was meant for some, but tomorrow may never come, for all we know.”

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A man of action is a man of distinction. No one ever learned anything  jabbering on all day long with no follow through. Your demeanor, your judgment and the way you operate separates you from the rest of the crowd.

Calvin Coolidge once said, “All growth depends on activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work. Work is not a curse; it is the prerogative of intelligence, the only means to manhood and the measure of civilization.”

After President Harding died while in office in 1923, Calvin Coolidge took over and cleaned things up after mess and scandal left by Harding.  He won the next election and created 6 years of  good times and prosperity for United States. 

A person can talk all day about what they are going to do with their lives, how they are going to succeed in business, get the girl he wants but at the end of the day it’s just that. A whole lotta jive talk.

If you love someone, show it. If you want to get the job you want. Get it. If you want the girl. Get her. Stop talking and start doing. 

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Gentlemen, there is one word and social necessity that is grossly overlooked in our vocabulary. The practice of this ancient action has nearly fallen off the edge of the earth. RESPECT. Respect for your woman, respect for your neighbors, respect for your elders, respect for your co-workers and respect for people who give you the same in return. Respect the Lion or he will bite the hand that feeds him.

I recently moved into a new apartment in Brooklyn which I very wrongfully presumed would be inhabited with  like minded and successful individuals. As I was the first tenant in the building I had no idea what my new neighbors would bring to the table. I love to imbibe and entertain as much as the next guy and everyone knows I like to party and I will throw down harder than most in social situations.

When I arrived home late after a wonderful evening performing at Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel, my new “friends” were throwing a disco dance party in the only other apartment on my floor.

Now mind you it’s Tuesday night and I had this cold that everyone has been passing around like a blunt at a Cypress Hill concert. I also had at least a bottle of champagne after the gig and a snifter full of Grand Marnier during the set to calm my aching vocal chords. Between the loud music, the delirium of Day-Quill mixed with liquor and french bubbles it was enough to send me knocking at their door.

When I opened the door to the small hallway between our apartments my door was blocked with trash and other items that I had asked earlier in the day to kindly be removed. Still dressed in my charcoal and chalk pinstripe suit, I lowered my shoulder into the door and a half a dozen old egg shells and beer cans hit the floor. I took the two steps to the door and gave the steel a hard few wraps. The door was quickly opened by a short stocky B&T who looked all of 19 with his tank topped and barb wire tattooed “boys” behind him. I told them to turn down the music and to get the trash out of my hallway. Forcefully. 

Of course he had strong tough words with all his boys behind him. Making fun of my suit and calling me a few not so clever names and insisting that the music was not going to be turned down. Now, I am not the fighting type and usually I never want to use my hands on anyone that doesn’t deserve the punishment, but when he put his hands on my suit and tried to push me, I was quickly less than an in inch away from his face. I know that they say actions speak louder than words so I grabbed him by his Polo shirt collar picking him up almost to his tip toes and said, “Listen you tiny Napoleonic motherfucker, I got tattoos too and your disrespectful attitude is gonna get you fucked up, cause tonight your fucking with the wrong motherfucker” After all his tough talk, as soon as I put my hands on him he crumbled like Blue Cheese. All I could smell was his fear mixed with Axe body spray as his “tough guy” friends retreated back to the party. I haven’t spoken to my new neighbors since as I think they are scared of what I might do to them the next time some level of infringement goes down. It was a good thing my wonderful woman Angie was there to keep me from destroying that little punks future and me from spending the night in a Bed-Sty jail cell in a custom made suit. Fighting is never good but dis-respect is one thing I do NOT tolerate. It was never tolerated when I was growing up. Not by anybody, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my neighbors. If you were dis-respectful you got what was coming to you. 

The moral of the story is to Respect one another and these kinds of things won’t happen.  I’ve seen this situation a hundred times whether I was working at the bar or hanging out on the streets of New York watching it happen to other people. Kids today have no respect for anyone or anything. They never worked for what they have and don’t know whats its like to struggle and make thing happen on their own. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

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There are few outstanding men throughout history that have elevated style and moral consciousness to another level. Fine gentlemen share many traits and characteristics. One thing found commonly is Individuality. Another is not conforming to the norms of society and pushing the boundaries of your own mind. Part of being a man is learning to be your own person. To strive for excellence in everything you do and to be comfortable in your own skin while you do it. If you can do this Victory is yours. 

We may wear the same color suit sometimes, but the swagger in our personalities and our joy for living is what really makes a man unique. Here Frank “the Voice” Sinatra and Dean “the King of Cool” Martin give a little taste of their own personalities. 

Marlin Brando is another man of distinction. It takes a lot of class, pride and integrity for yourself and those who share the space around you. This man of many hats has many times over qualified himself in this category. (Playing Stanley Kowalski or Don Corleone won’t hurt your chances either) Although his later troubles overshadow some of his career success,’ we cannot over look his classic sense of style nor his dedication to the civil rights of African and Indian-Americans.  A consummate activist and humanitarian he lead not only with his acting but with his heart. Jack Nicohlson once said about the man, “…it was always Marlon Brando and always will be Brando.” A true testament to the strength of a mans work and dedication to his fellow man. 

In part one of this 1965 interview we see how poised and relaxed he is, while flirting and keeping the press on their corporate toes. 

Last but certainly not least for this installment of ManLawMondays, is another man that went his own way and also managed to help out as many people as he could on the way there. He was persecuted heavily in his early career about his morals, his philosophy, his publication and his way of life. He stuck to his guns, took the beating with style and rose above to stay true to his beliefs and values. Hugh Hefner was not only a magazine mogul but a civil rights activist and political ally of women and the gay community. He was influential in hiring African-American comedian and civil rights leader, Dick Gregory and in 1955 he published Charles Beaumont’s short story, “The Crooked Man,” about straight men being persecuted in a world where homosexuality was the norm. Mr. Hefner responded in his magazine shortly thereafter, “If it was wrong to persecute heterosexuals in a homosexual society then the reverse was wrong, too.”

Mr. Hefner shuts down hater William Buckley in 1966. 

A real man of distinction is always a gentleman, he is well dressed and well versed in his own opinions. He is polite, honest, courteous and helpful whenever he can be. In closing, I would like to leave you with a quote from one of the original men of distinction. 

“All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.” -Sun Tzu