If you only listen to one thing I say, this will be the one that will up your game a hundred fold.
ALWAYS BE A GENTLEMAN
No matter what. Keep your cool and do the right thing…
I was at a fine establishment called “the Johnson’s” the other night. (We call it “Sock Bar” because thats what it smells like) What they lack in aroma they make up for with a well hustled pool table, ice cold budweiser and jukebox that only sucks if you do too.
As the boys and I quickly drank harder and played pool better, I noticed this guy walk in with a girl. He didn’t open the door to the bar for her, walked in front of her to the last seat available at the bar, sat down and ordered himself a PBR. Then had the stones to turn around and asked her if she wanted a beer. A beer?? Come on guy, ask her if she’d like a drink. If you only have enough money for beer, buy a bottle of wine and cook her a pasta dinner at your place. Pasta Puttanesca and a bottle of wine are cheap, so if your low on dough its the better move. Don’t take her to the bar downstairs from the apartment your dad pays for if you can’t afford to do it right.
I don’t care if it’s the dive of all dives or a swank Grammy after party. Both kinds of parties are great, but when you walk in anywhere with a woman, if you’re dating or not, you open the door and offer her the seat at the bar. A gentleman always stands if a woman is standing. (That goes the same for the train, bus, park bench, etc) If she declines then by all means take the seat, but at least you stood up and showed her that she could have it if she wants it. If she pays you no mind, her friend next to her or someone else at the bar will notice your manners and think of you in a better light. Chivalry is not just for who you are with. It’s the simple things that people notice the most. Let the lady go in line in front of you. Open her car door for her. Pick up the check. Carry her over a puddle. Be that well dressed knight.
She was dressed up in some sexy heels, her makeup all done, nails painted and a had on a hot summer dress. This cat looked like he just walked out of a Williamsburg Tattoo/Hair Salon/Clothing Store/Bar. (That actually exists. I wish I had thought of it. I think they are getting rich over there off of Meeker Ave, pumping out hipsters one credit card swipe at a time) If you’re gonna take a woman out on the town and she says she’s getting dressed up, do yourself a favor and put a little effort into your wardrobe too. If you value her at all, you’ll treat her with respect, before someone else does. This guy had absolutely no class and guys with no class make us all look bad, fellas. If it was the 1800’s I would have smacked him with my silk glove, challenged him to a duel, had a very a brief gun fight and taken his woman out for a nice steak dinner.
The bottom line is that, style is not always about what you wear. It’s how you carry yourself. You could have tattoos and a t-shirt and jeans or a bespoke suit with Cartier cufflinks. Your clothes will not save you from being an idiot. Only the man in the clothes can do that. Impress with selfless acts and do things that serve you no purpose but to better the people around you. Rather than acting “cool” treating people badly.
Selfishness is something gentlemen do not possess. It is for the weak of mind and heart. Being a good person will get you much farther along in life and people of both sexes will respect you that much more for it.
Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…