A wise man once said to me, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” The following ManLaw is crucial to the health of a Man’s mind and spirit. Keeping your lady contented and comfortable being with and around you is an arduous and sometimes daunting task. A woman’s mood is subject to many different small details and circumstances that greatly effect their overall disposition and level of happiness. If you’ve ever gone steady with a girl for longer than 6 months you know what I’m talking about. A relationship can be like a nice hot shower. Comfortable, cleansing, relaxing and refreshing…..until she flushes the toilet.
Here’s s a few simple things you can do at home to ensure your lady of choice keeps coming back for more. You don’t have to be whipped about it but if you call yourself a man, you can grow up a little and act like one.
1. Women generally don’t like clutter so hang up you jacket in the closet or coat rack when you come in and try to keep your keys and things neatly in one spot.
2. If you’re going out with the boys give her at least a day or two’s notice depending on how long you’ve been together. After you’ve been together a while, longer notice is necessary due to growth in irrational insanity.
3. If you make a sandwich, put the mustard away and clean up the crumbs.
4. Even though they should look before sitting and I think that asking us to put the seat down is just a test to see how much they can push us. It will make it easier for all of us if we just put the toilet seat down. Ever had a bitchy cashier at the grocery or the bank? It’s probably because someone left the seat up this morning and they went to work with a cold ass. If you can’t even put the seat down, what else can’t you do????
5. Keep things in the fridge she likes, even if you don’t eat the stuff. Go out of your way to show her you know what she’s into. I’m not a big fan of olives but I have 5 different varieties in the fridge just for my fidanzata.
6. Speaking of the fridge. Stop reading right now and clean out the fridge before another science project grows out of last years beef and bean burrito.
7. I know you like Man movies, but watch James Bond with her if you want to watch a guy flick, not Scarface. I’m not saying you have to double feature Dirty Dancing and You’ve Got Mail every night, but it’s not always about you.
8. Once again for the dummies. It’s not always about you. Get over it, bro.
9. Clean the house a little more often, especially the bathroom. No chick likes a dirty bathroom.
10. Learn to cook something other than Chef Boyardee. A good woman appreciates a better man with a good meal, a good bottle of wine in a good clean house.
Follow these ManLaws and I promise it will lead to some good clean fun.
Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…