The Gentlemen’s Pad

Posted by Brian Newman on November 7, 2011
Posted in: Influential Men, Style. 1 Comment

Creating a living space designed for work and pleasure is an important step to being your own man. It brings up questions about who you are and helps shape a most pleasurable existence. “What do I like? What’s my style? What makes me comfortable?” A home is warm and inviting. It should feel like an extension of your skin and the clothes you cover it with. A place to work, to relax, have a drink, cook and entertain guests. Most importantly to have the bird that you’re into be comfortable on the couch with an ice-cold Beefeater martini.   

With a man’s castle, its essence is in the details. There are many things a man can have in his home for the comfort of his own well-being and for the comfort of his guests.  Below is a list of things that you can easily do quickly to improve your habitat.

A must for any gentleman is a well stocked bar. Try and keep two of everything, you never know where the night may take you.

BOOZE:

Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Scotch, Tequila and Rum

Red Wine, White Wine, Champagne

At least 12 of your favorite Beers

MIXERS:

Seltzer, Tonic, Ginger Ale, OJ and Cranberry. 

GLASSWARE:

Highball, Rocks, Martini, Pints, Wine glasses, Flutes, Cordials (Get vintage crystal if you’re going for old school)

BAR WARE:

Cocktail stirs, bar napkins, bar rags, Bar Spoon, Ice Bucket with Tongs and ICE, Ashtray, Matches, Martini Shaker and mixing glasses. 

You don’t need to know how to bartend to make a cocktail.  Scotch on the rocks and Gin and Tonic is pretty self explanatory. Look up other classic drinks online or buy a bar-tending book. Old Fashioned’s, Hemingway Daiquiri’s, Manhattan’s… Stick with the classics. 

Another essential for any Gentleman’s Pad is a proper place to rest. A bedroom should always be the most comfortable place in your home. We spend an average of 8 hours a day sleeping.  That’s one-third of our whole lives. Spend the money on a good bed, high thread counted sheets, down comforter, duvet and plush pillows. I promise you’ll sleep like a king and it will keep that good woman coming back again and again. 

A comfortable place to cook is another great way to keep your spirits high. Cooking to me is one of the most relaxing things. A well put together meal can help relive stress, create good energy in your home and is all around healthier option than dining out or using the microwave. Try to always buy the best produce, meats and cheeses and call your mother for a good recipe. Here are some kitchen necessities. Just remember to keep it simple.

KNIFE SET:

A nice butcher black knife set with different sized knives for all occasions. Good sets usually include at least 4 steak knives. It should also contain; Butcher, Bread, Paring, utility knife, sandwich knife, sharpening steel and kitchen shears. Also, pick up a nice butchers cutting board and oil it with mineral oil on occasion. It will last you a lifetime. 

POTS AND PANS:

Any decent set of pots and pans will do you right. It shouldn’t cost more than a couple hundred. Some even come with mixing spoons and spatula’s. A really nice cast iron pot is great for roasts at night and eggs and bacon in the morning. 

In conclusion, creating your living space is a great opportunity to find out things about your style. Here’s a great vintage TV special to get you in the cooking mood. From “The Galloping Gourmet,” Mr. Graham Kerr. He’s Old school gentleman to a T. 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMonday’s…


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Letter to a Confused Female

Posted by Brian Newman on October 26, 2011
Posted in: Chicks. Leave a comment

I recently got these questions from readers of the ManLaws .. I love the questions! Keep ’em coming! 

____

“I need your advice.

What do I do about a man who seems interested, is constantly being flirtatious, but has a girlfriend? Do I give up? Do I make my interests more obvious? Isn’t there a manlaw about stringing girls along?

Sincerely,
Confused female”

____

Dear Ms. Confused,

This guy sounds like a confused female himself. I would tell him to his face if he and I ever met. I also wouldn’t put much stock in this dudes ability to commit to his girlfriend let alone commit with you. If he’s flirting behind her back with you, he doesn’t much care about her or women in general. Even if you did sway him to your side of the tracks, how do you know he’s not just going to do the same thing to you and flirt with other broads.  I don’t want to sound like I’m hating on the guy because I don’t know all the circumstances, but usually once a jerk always a jerk. It’s like that old stigma about a husband never leaving his wife for his mistress. He’s never gonna leave his wife, no matter how many times he tells the mistress he will. He’s too much of wuss to man up and deal with his situation. Stringing someone along is the worst.  (ManLaw 178)

On the other hand, If you really like the guy, be honest with him and if he’s not into to it, move on. I am certain that it will be his loss. I am also sure you have a long life ahead of you and you will meet other people that will treat you the way you want and need to be treated. Show love and you will receive it in return.  

The bottom line is to be yourself. Always. If someone doesn’t like who you are or what you’re into, they can take a long walk off a short pier. I never want to be surrounded by people that bring me down with them. It’s much better to be around someone who pushes you to be a better person and learn more about yourself everyday. To make you stronger, inside and out.  

I hope this answers you question. 

Best regards,

Brian Newman

____

“Is it true that the days of 18-20 percent, for a spectacular meal are gone? Does the average fella’ gotta pay near 30 percent?”

____

Dear Average Fella,

The art of tipping varies in different situations. If you really love the place and the staff, tipping extra is not only a sign of gratitude but also usually guarantee of excellent service. The next time you walk in without a reservation you’ll probably get a table much faster and in a nicer part of the restaurant. Maybe even a couple glasses of Champagne while you wait. 

When I take my lady out for a spectacular dinner we usually go to one of our many favorite haunts. We not only choose these places because of the amazing food, but for the entire dining experience.  The table, the quickness of service and the friendliness you get from the host and the staff. I am not saying you have to pay for people to like you and you should always act like a gentleman anyways, but whats an extra 10 bucks after a 300 dollar meal. 

It goes all the way back to the bible, “Do unto others as they would do unto you.” Take care of the people that take care of you and you will be taken care of for life. 

Now Mr. Fella, this is not you but here is an extreme example of now not to act at a dinner with a group of friends or a date.  We know those hats and cats that when the bill comes they get out there calculator to decide what exact percentage of wine they drank and how many french fries they ate. If you don’t have money, stay home and make a big bowl Top Ramen. If  you initiate the date you should pay. If you’re with friends, spilt the check evenly. Don’t stick the rest of the crew with your sales tax and tip. It’s just plain old cheap. Nobody like a cheap skate. 

Date Night 102

Posted by Brian Newman on October 23, 2011
Posted in: Chicks. 2 Comments

You asked her out. She bought all your BS and said, “Yes, I’d like that.” You pulled it off, bro. Congrats. Here’s the most important part.  DON’T  SCREW IT UP! If you like her treat her like a lady and she’ll give it back to you and treat you like a man. 

I love a good date. Nothing makes me feel better, besides playing music and the other obvious dating perks. If executed properly with the right company, a great date can be something you remember for a long time, or least until your champagne hangover wears off. 

In an earlier post I gave a you guys a set of guidelines to follow when taking a lady for a night out. Here I have written some more ways to treat her right. I may repeat myself at times, but that’s just because some of you guys are hard of hearing. 

1. Never order anything before she does.

2. Always give her the seat on the banquet, you take the chair. The best view goes to the lady. (This is the same on planes, don’t take the window seat if you know she likes it)

3. Tip the wait staff well. 25-30 percent is suffice, especially if they gave you some stuff for free. Always tip on the full amount of the bill not on the discount. The waiter or waitress works for less than minimum wage and make all their money on tips plus you’re paying the busboys salary too.

4. Never pull out a coupon.  (See  5)

5. Ever. 

6. If service is shitty or they screw up the bill, don’t make a scene. Keep your cool. Excuse yourself politely and handle the situation calmly and collectively with the manager.

7. When a man gets up from a table it is only necessary to say, “Excuse me.” No other details are needed.

8. When walking offer your arm. Its just as romantic as putting your cloak over a puddle. Hand holding should be reserved for when you have a girlfriend or woman you love. 

9. This one is really old-fashioned but when walking on the sidewalk she should be on the inside. With traffic closest to you. Reason being if some cabbie jumps the curb you can get her out of the way of danger and stop the car with your sheer power, strength and brawn. 

10. Stay off your cellphone at the dinner table. You should make her feel like a queen not be texting to your buddies on the phone during the date. Wait for her to go to the ladies room if you have to check your phone.  

11. Movies are cool for a 4th or 5th date but try to take her to places where you can get to know each other and actually talk. It’s easy to get along with someone when there is no conversation. 

12. Chicks like spontaneity. Do something different than you usually do. 

13. Stay away from sports bars for dates. Take her somewhere you think she would like. Same with gifts. Don’t buy her what you like, buy her what she likes. 

14. If your dating methods are not working. Get some new methods. Never anything wrong with trying new things.  

15. Practice talking to girls without the intent of trying to date them. You will have much better luck. Desperation is a stinky cologne. 

16. Shut up and LISTEN TO HER.  She’s smarter than you, you’ll probably learn something. 

17.  Always be a gentleman. 

18. Lose the ball cap. If you do wear a hat, remove it when indoors. 

19.  If you drive to pick her up, for Christ’s sake, wash the car, man. Inside and out. 

20. If you have more than one partner, she probably does too. Whatever happened to plain old one on one? Be a man, not a punk. 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…

He’s A Professional with a Budweiser

Posted by Brian Newman on October 17, 2011
Posted in: Style. Leave a comment

Drinking. One of my favorite National Pastimes. It’s as American as Blondes, Baseball, small block V8’s and Apple Pie. It brings people together and pulls them apart. It leads them to clubs, lounges, house parties, hotel bars and dives. Anyplace where this beautiful libation is offered, hats and cats are gettin’ loaded. 

For thousands of years it has been produced, bought, consumed, sold, used to pick up girls and heaved back up by people of all classes, races and creeds.  We drink to be social, to relax after work, during work, to relieve stress and some amateurs drink to fit into a crowd. If you’re really hooked on the juice, those 8am jaunts to the “Blarney Stone” and other nefarious “Old Man” bars peppered throughout the boroughs are your bread and butter. The key is to learn to drink professionally or lay off the sauce. Nobody likes a slob, whether you’re a girl or a guy. I’ve seen birds too, drinking way too much, doing some dudes blow in the bathroom and acting like hookers. You know who you are. No class. 

Everyone has a bender once in a while. A bad night out on the town. I’ve done it, my friends have done it and we see it all the time. If you’re boozin’ Irish whiskey and Buds hard all night with a bad attitude, things might get a little weird. It comes with the territory. When drinking and acting like an ass becomes a recurring theme in your life, you should probably take up scrap booking and move home. I’m sure I wouldn’t mind having you around to refresh your mom and I’s daiquiris pool side. 

 

When you’re drinking steadily and not overdoing it, everything is gravy and good vibes are gonna come your way. Pacing yourself is the key to getting drunk gracefully. How will you achieve at life if you’re blacked out drunk every night? One of the many things that I picked up from my father, Tony, was he always said, “Drink in moderation. If you drink a beer and a water and a beer and a water, you’ll be just as drunk but you won’t be sloppy or hungover the next day.”  Now, I’ve never actually seen him utilize this Man manuever but…  He also said, “Do as I say and not as I do,” a lot too. So theres that to think about. Over the years I’ve come to  understand what the man meant by that. You can’t run around double fisting Johnny Black or you’re gonna act like an ass and lose your cool. The people around you might laugh and egg you on but in the end they aren’t your friends and you’re really just the butt of the joke. 

The one and only Tony and Kim Newman

As Gentlemen we have to represent the species as a whole in a positive light. Real women aren’t into drunk jag-off’s. They want substance, character, class and a man who knows how to handle himself even if he’s had a few cocktails. We all make mistakes, myself included, but in the end I hope we all want to be better people, grow together and have richer lives everyday. So relax, baby. Keep your shirt on, enjoy yourself and have a few cocktails… 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…

Respect

Posted by Brian Newman on October 9, 2011
Posted in: Influential Men. Leave a comment

Gentlemen, there is one word and social necessity that is grossly overlooked in our vocabulary. The practice of this ancient action has nearly fallen off the edge of the earth. RESPECT. Respect for your woman, respect for your neighbors, respect for your elders, respect for your co-workers and respect for people who give you the same in return. Respect the Lion or he will bite the hand that feeds him.

I recently moved into a new apartment in Brooklyn which I very wrongfully presumed would be inhabited with  like minded and successful individuals. As I was the first tenant in the building I had no idea what my new neighbors would bring to the table. I love to imbibe and entertain as much as the next guy and everyone knows I like to party and I will throw down harder than most in social situations.

When I arrived home late after a wonderful evening performing at Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel, my new “friends” were throwing a disco dance party in the only other apartment on my floor.

Now mind you it’s Tuesday night and I had this cold that everyone has been passing around like a blunt at a Cypress Hill concert. I also had at least a bottle of champagne after the gig and a snifter full of Grand Marnier during the set to calm my aching vocal chords. Between the loud music, the delirium of Day-Quill mixed with liquor and french bubbles it was enough to send me knocking at their door.

When I opened the door to the small hallway between our apartments my door was blocked with trash and other items that I had asked earlier in the day to kindly be removed. Still dressed in my charcoal and chalk pinstripe suit, I lowered my shoulder into the door and a half a dozen old egg shells and beer cans hit the floor. I took the two steps to the door and gave the steel a hard few wraps. The door was quickly opened by a short stocky B&T who looked all of 19 with his tank topped and barb wire tattooed “boys” behind him. I told them to turn down the music and to get the trash out of my hallway. Forcefully. 

Of course he had strong tough words with all his boys behind him. Making fun of my suit and calling me a few not so clever names and insisting that the music was not going to be turned down. Now, I am not the fighting type and usually I never want to use my hands on anyone that doesn’t deserve the punishment, but when he put his hands on my suit and tried to push me, I was quickly less than an in inch away from his face. I know that they say actions speak louder than words so I grabbed him by his Polo shirt collar picking him up almost to his tip toes and said, “Listen you tiny Napoleonic motherfucker, I got tattoos too and your disrespectful attitude is gonna get you fucked up, cause tonight your fucking with the wrong motherfucker” After all his tough talk, as soon as I put my hands on him he crumbled like Blue Cheese. All I could smell was his fear mixed with Axe body spray as his “tough guy” friends retreated back to the party. I haven’t spoken to my new neighbors since as I think they are scared of what I might do to them the next time some level of infringement goes down. It was a good thing my wonderful woman Angie was there to keep me from destroying that little punks future and me from spending the night in a Bed-Sty jail cell in a custom made suit. Fighting is never good but dis-respect is one thing I do NOT tolerate. It was never tolerated when I was growing up. Not by anybody, my parents, my aunts and uncles, my neighbors. If you were dis-respectful you got what was coming to you. 

The moral of the story is to Respect one another and these kinds of things won’t happen.  I’ve seen this situation a hundred times whether I was working at the bar or hanging out on the streets of New York watching it happen to other people. Kids today have no respect for anyone or anything. They never worked for what they have and don’t know whats its like to struggle and make thing happen on their own. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…


Dressed For Success

Posted by Brian Newman on September 27, 2011
Posted in: Chicks, Influential Men, Style. 1 Comment

Dressing for success doesn’t always mean just the clothes you put on. It always helps when you look sharp as a tack, but it’s the thoroughness in the preparation of your craft and skill set that will guarantee you a most favorable outcome. 

Back in the day when a great hunter went out to gather game for his families survival he certainly didn’t leave the cave unprepared for a victorious hunt. He first needed to learn the skills to ensure his success. Whether shooting arrows at stacks of hay, learning from other hunters or getting in the field and actually doing it, he knew that practice made perfect and he needed to always strive to be a consistent, reliable and better sportsman to feed his family. Same with a gambler. He doesn’t sit down at a table without a knowledge of the game, his opponents and enough money to cover the buy in. A fisherman is not going to go out without his rod, reel and bait for his hook. A musician can’t work without his instrument being in tune and well practised. 

For thousands of years men have had to do many things for survival, for money and for the girl. As Men we have to be prepared and to be successful and we need to have the right tools to thrive and survive. You can be the most intelligent man on the planet but if you’re not putting your best foot forward in your business and social interactions you’ll never reach the goals that you are striving for. You won’t get the money or the girl either. 

There are many ways to ensure a successful endeavor. One way is making sure you are well groomed. That means showered, shaved, cologned and dressed properly for the occasion at hand. If its a dinner meeting at a swank place you can almost never be too overdressed. A tuxedo is too much for a meeting, but break out your favorite suit, tie and cufflinks and go for it. If you show up in a t-shirt, jeans, dirty Chuck Taylor’s and a wrinkled blazer your first impression is immediately blown. That getup might get you free VD at a dive bar but it’s certainly not going to win over the minds of those at the meeting.

If you want to be a rocker you should be yourself and dress accordingly. You can’t force it with lots of leather, a 200 dollar haircut and a vintage Motley Cru t-shirt your mom bought you at Varvatos for 500 bucks. All that flash doesn’t hide that you can’t play more than 3 chords on your guitar. Don’t be a poser. In order to be a successful musician is to learn you craft and constantly be perfecting it. Just like all things in life. You will get no where without good preparation.My point is to be yourself always. You can’t force something that isn’t inside of you. People can tell when your not being genuine. Check out Brian Austin Greene forcing it. Besides getting Megan Fox into bed what has he done lately. 

Men should dress and act as they want to be perceived. Be yourself and shake what your mama gave you. Even if things don’t go your way all the time you can at least say you gave it your best crack at it. 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMondays…


Fussing and Fighting

Posted by Brian Newman on August 22, 2011
Posted in: Chicks. 1 Comment

Did you look at another girl? Were you not listening to her when she said something important? Did you piss off one of her girlfriends? Were you drunk with the boys all day and all night? Did you miss your anniversary? Accidentally kill her dog? There are so many stupid decisions that men make on a daily basis. No matter what it was that pushed her over the edge, you know what you did wrong…(most of the time)… and it’s time to make things right. 

This could take anywhere from 2 minutes up to a lifetime depending on the level of infringement and injustice you have caused her. Having a partner is never a small task and a couple is always going to have differences of opinion and a bit of conflict. It’s the right balance of conflict and resolution can make for a strong and healthy relationship. You just have to remember to listen and be attentive to what she is talking about. Make her love and respect you for being yourself and being honest with her. She wants to hear you say sweet things and treat her better. Don’t just sit there at your own pity party mean muggin’ like this 30’s tough guy. This guy is never gonna get another date with anybody. Even the bird in the mirror doesn’t like what she sees. 

Just admit you were wrong. You have to honestly and sincerely apologize for your behavior. Let her know you care about her and what she has to say. If you act like it’s her fault and disagree with her it will just prolong the conflict, no one will be happy and it will eventually ruin the relationship. Even if she is wrong just listen to her complain about what is bothering her and when she gets done she will feel better. Most of the time they are not even mad at YOU!! They love you and care enough about you to bitch at you. They are mad about the job, the guy that objectified her on the street on the way to your place or they have on their cozy monthly sweatpants. Women just want you to listen. I can’t stress this ManLaw enough. They don’t want solutions, suggestions or guidance. Just LISTEN!! Make her feel comfortable telling you whats bothering her and just let her cry and get it all out. 

You should be doing this always anyways, but when she’s upset, you have to treat her like a lady. Sending some flowers to her while she’s at work or having the house clean and dinner ready with some candles and wine the next time she comes over for a visit. The ladies are really big on the little things you do for them. You have to go out of your way to show her you care.  Open the door, pull her chair out, say sweet sexy things to her. (If I have to explain to you how to treat her you should read my other posts)

Women have the ability to say things without saying a word. She’s not just gonna tell you what she wants to hear. That would be way too easy and it’s their job to make us squirm a little bit. It’s telling them how gorgeous they are every day or bringing them a glass of seltzer in bed without them asking you. As members of the opposite sex we have to learn to understand these social cues and use them for betterment of Man. The more in tune with her you are, the less you will fight and the better the make up lovin’ when you do get into it. 

In closing, just plain old Common Sense will get you through these tough times of distress. There is no magic harmony that descends upon you when you fall in love. Love is a beautiful thing but at some point you will disagree about something. Theres no tricks or games that speed her healing process. Some of the best parts of a relationship is getting to know each other better and a good fight is a pretty good way to get to know someone. To our benefit, boys, to a certain extent they want us to screw up. If you don’t do some bad things once in a while the chicks wouldn’t even talk to you, let alone invite you to her boudoir. 

So keep rocking fellas. It’s all good. 

Stay tuned for more ManLawMonadays…